Scattered Hope

Right now there are groups of people all over the world celebrating the days of unleavened bread. Many of them have absolutely nothing in common except a love of hope and eternal existence. Their belief in who God is and what His plan is can be completely different as interpretation of Scripture can be like the old folktale of three blind men feeling different parts of an elephant only to conclude with three very different features to describe the beast.
But what they all agree on is "hope." These days are about being pulled away from what the world tells us we must have to be happy to the reality that happiness comes from knowing your own family tree and the "hope" found in knowing your real roots.
Hope tells us not to love the world or love materialism, but to love the author of our life and our siblings. Yes, we will crave HAVING and BEING, but those cravings lead us to a false identity. One job loss or adultery takes those titles away.
We are smart, we know that a false hope is not really hope at all.
1 John 3:2, "Dear friends, now we are the children of God, and what we WILL BE has not yet been made known..."

The Road Less Traveled

Sure, we've all heard the Robert Frost quote, but have we ever really tried to live it?
I believe the road less traveled is a road without pavement. A road that has a traveler listening. Listening to the sounds of their surroundings.
Have you ever heard a small voice within you that says, "I need to call _________."
Or "I've always wanted to ____________."
Fill in the blank...you've heard it.
We know when we are needed, we know when we could do something worth our time. We also know that we have people in our lives that may not be around forever. Truth be told, we may be that person.
So, get off the pavement...the road that goes fast and furious and keeps you distracted from the real journey. Join us on the windy, unpredictable trail. The trail of intense failure and intense triumph. At times it can appear manic, but it has depth, it holds real. You can't zoom along too quickly because you'll get lost, but you'll perceive things you've only imagined and you'll actually enjoy small moments of natural, normal.
Dear friends, the ones I have had lunch with or coffee with and talked about dreams that have gone unexplored....this is for you.
Now is your chance to change your mind and take a risk. I believe in you.
You are absent of the good or bad opinion of others, you are valuable without any identity....just you. Your talent, given at the foundation of time, belongs to you and you alone. LISTEN.

Real Perspective

Each day is a gift...

I strongly recommend each of you watch the video above.  It is amazing to listen to a man facing a terminal illness with such dedication to believing God has a plan for him.

My prayer for each of us is to live fully, completely, without fear, without hesitation, no holding back, full of love, full of grace, full of life while we are still in the land of the living.

Regardless of your faith....believe today is a gift and treat it as such!

The Real Human Experience

Last week I spoke on having a broken heart and the humanitarian efforts that have come out of a life with a broken heart. I used a quote I love,

"It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise." by Sara Teasdale
Although I appreciate the wisdom and understanding that comes from painful experiences, some days...I beg for mercy...to feel less.
I am not sure if my heart is more open, tattered and scarred and that is why it feels so much or if not being a stranger to pain makes it so familiar? Who knows?
But I do know that hurting people are all around us. We have no idea how many terminal cancer patients we are passing as our cart goes down the grocery isle. We have no idea how many receptionists we are dealing with that may have just lost a mother, brother or even their own child. Who knows if the guy checking us out at our favorite fast food lost his corporate job and is having to manage the drive thru to provide food for his family.
Hurting, scared people...desperate for us, anyone, to try even for a minute to walk in their shoes and understand their pain.
One of those guys going up and down the grocery store is my step dad. Be kind to him. Flash a smile. His spirits are easily lifted with smiles and hugs. He is not too different from a lot of people. It doesn't take much, really.
This week, I challenge you and myself, to go out of our way to try to walk with someone in a crisis. If your schedule only allows an hour, use that hour.
Those of us that have experienced pain should be even more accountable to lift up another human being. We know personally what it feels like to feel an arm under yours lifting you from a low place, it feels doable. At that moment, you know, you might just get through it.
Help someone get through it.

Spring "Far From" Break

Wow. Seriously, what a crazy week. My theoretical calendar and my reality calendar completely conflicted this week, cognitive dissonance via schedule.
So, Sunday night we are taking a little bit of a too leisure drive to Kansas and don't actually show up until almost one in the morning.
I didn't get too much sleep hearing Eden cough a chunky cough and doctoring a sore throat myself, morning comes quickly. So, I go through my presentation for the Bethel College Convocation and realize I am fading fast, but it is Eden's actual birthday and I dare not disappoint, so I suck it up. By eleven o'clock I am in front of the Bethel College student body and faculty giving a lecture on "What to do with a broken heart?" while hearing sweet Eden in the back row with her rough cough that is hanging on way too long. At this point, I am wearing my professional hat, but lugging a mother's heavy heart.
In hopes of making her day special Brian and I decided to drive a few miles over to the Cosmosphere, great experience! We catch an IMAX, see the stars, learn the history of the rocket...all exhausting, but awesome.
By Tuesday, I am increasingly worried about her cough and have decided that when we get home we are really going to the doctor. Oh, and I have a child-like runny nose myself, so the two of us are going through a box of tissues in less than an hour.
But, staying true to the schedule because it is "Spring Break", we have a lovely dinner with some new friends in Newton. I notice that Eden isn't eating much and seems really uncomfortable, truth be told, I am not so comfortable myself having acquired enough congestion for a full classroom of children.
So, that night, we go to bed having still achieved keeping our tight schedule of activities...until the dreaded, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw uuuuuuuu..."
If you are a mom, I don't have to finish this, you know what happened next.
Okay, it is two a.m. and I am holding a hot child complaining of a painful neck and throwing up in a town I don't know very well. Scary moment.
Brian goes to a store and buys a thermometer, for us to have another scary moment...104...seriously.
We all pile in the car, trash can by our side and head to the local ER where our fears are realized, Eden is dehydrated and needs an IV because she is fighting pneumonia. Poor girl. Obviously, our schedule dramatically changes. Sleep schedules are all truly out the window, a new TV schedule becomes apparent and the main goal is getting antibiotic to stay down, oh, and fluids.
Do you know how hard it is to get an eight year old to drink water these days?
I had no idea until now, but apparently when they turn eight water is out.
Well, now it is Friday and I am happily blogging about this instead of living it. Spring Break has essentially come and gone and at least four days of it are a complete fog. I have decided not to post a picture with this blog because I personally do not think that showing our sick faces would be helpful...I am sure you can picture us...dark circles, heaving chests, watery eyes...
I am now thankful we didn't try to plan a ski trip, what a waste that would have been this year!

Happy Birthday!

What a blessing to see the child I was never suppose to have celebrate her 8th Birthday!
After four years of crying every time I found myself at a stop sign or light next to a car with a car seat in the back, I heard the words, "you are pregnant!"  I can still get goose bumps to think of that day.
I remember thanking God for every experience.  I praised Him for knowing what it felt like to hear those words.  I cried in gratitude for saving her as I miscarried her twin.  I thanked Him for being allowed to have my own experience on the Maternity Floor at the hospital.
Each experience...a grateful heart because I know that children are all on loan and that He is the provider of life.
As I jumped with Eden at Pump It Up this year I could not help but think of the gift she is and has been to me.  When I wanted a child, I did not dare understand the full meaning of the desire.  I had no idea that I was asking for my heart to be put out, vulnerable, outside of my body for all to see, criticize and love.  I also had no idea that I would birth my own friend and playmate.  And lastly, how close to God I would have to stay in order to raise a child responsibly.  He has been my guide as I have tried to navigate through the pulls of training up another human being as her largest influence of what family and faith should look like.
God has granted me eight years of hearing the word, "mom" in every pitch, tone, mood and whine...and for that I consider myself incredibly blessed to have ears to hear them.
Happy Birthday, Eden!

Ledge of Bad Leadership

My daughter is a lot like her mother in that she views events and experiences through incredibly creative lenses.  I appreciate that about her and always enjoy her photography.  She took this picture.
When I look at it I immediately think of the tricky balance of leading people or movements.
The owl looks confident on his ledge of leadership, but does he really?  Because from a different angle you could think he was planning a fatal jump out of despair.  Perception...
I believe people who are put in charge of leading people and movements are sometimes a bit manic, which is part of the attraction and energy that brings a following.
Here in America we've seen a lot of manic leaders that take us down a path of hope and inspiration only to drop us off at infidelity and resignation.  The ledge, my friend, can be deceiving.
I believe that the great leaders have never mounted themselves on the ledge.  The great leaders are in the crowd inspiring movements as one of the many.
"The real leader  has no need to lead -- he is content to point the way."  Henry Miller

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Everyday is a gift. Not just this moment writing, which I love and find as therapy, but all the moments...listening, loving someone, driving, cooking, returning emails...you know, the day. Your day is not promised, so treasure it as a gift.
I say this because I have lost loved ones to cancer and have one right now fighting this battle for more days. So, the harsh reality of our days being numbered has shaped a lot of my thinking and life. As I plan my time throughout the day, I know it is a gift to be able to implement all that is on my schedule.
Today, I got to read, Hop on Pop, to a group of fabulous third graders at Addams Elementary School because today is Dr. Seuss' Birthday, seriously, it is his birthday. And how beautiful to celebrate the occasion with a group of kids so pumped to eat green eggs and ham for lunch!
I am thankful for the moments of remembering the joy of reading a book of rhyme and silly words...with each little giggle coming from beneath my feet was a memory of happiness with a book that makes you laugh.
Oh, laugh...don't take yourself so seriously...grab a book by Dr. Seuss if you have to...but don't waste today with your worry because tomorrow is not promised and wouldn't you be incredibly disappointed if you kept trying to juggle the world's problems on your bike and never stopped to just take a joy ride!