Importance

Lately I have realized that we are all demanding to be "important."
I have fallen victim several times to wanting my job, my activities, my life to be deemed incredibly important.  Sometimes I get so caught up in it that I become depressed when it doesn't yield results...it's a life, not a math problem.
So, I started an experiment.  I have taken several days to completely disregard what I have valued and start listening to what other people value and try to boost up their importance.
Wow.  I am surrounded by such important people with lives they are living and growing and helping others.  Being a part of that and not a spectator because I am competing for importance has been so rewarding.  Depression cannot be fed if you are involved in the lives of others, it is only truly fed by your own desire to stay important. 
Being important is not finishing a conversation with, "I've talked enough about me, let's talk about you, what do you think of me?"

Reba's

It's dark, I am driving down a downtown in the middle of Kansas that has closed down for the night and it is only seven-thirty. Although I have Eden in the backseat and I am promoting this experience as a "get-a-way," I am finding myself incredibly lonely for familiar.
The town is quaint, all of the townspeople are kind and sweet, but it still feels like crashing a family reunion. They speak about generations of families I have never met and laugh at inside jokes I have never heard. Darling, if I were on the inside and not the outside.
I remembered a restaurant from a trip here about four or five months ago, I believed it was called Reba's and was located on Main Street.
I felt a peace and calmness return to me as I walked through the hall of the cherry stained wood paneling and landed at the tile top high bar. This wonderful, smiling woman looks at me and remembers exactly what I had last time I was there and ask about my health issues that made me eat so simply.
The ambiance of a district in my town that I love to dine in coupled with Reba, really Rebecca, who rolls up her sleeves and prepares me a dish all too familiar - oh, connected.
The connection isn't just the familiar, the connection is also in the sincerity of the couple who owns Reba's. They are beautifully comfortable in their own skin and enjoy the moments, not the results of life. Their conversation is like traveling back in time with my dad in an era of free love and housing. Relaxed, far from judging anyone, just in the moment.
There must be scattered throughout this eclectic nation a band of familiar souls that recognize each other as they drift through their journey of life excited to run into one another and share their travels.
To those souls, I believe I owe a huge, "thank you" for your exsistence...

Human Heartbeat

The human experience for many of us is different.  If you were born in a third world country, you are not experiencing life through my lens of wealth and security.  Experience is an interpretation of a journey, a journey we all take...called life.
But, we all share a heartbeat - blood flows through our veins sustaining us and we all desire to avoid pain.
Last night, I spent the evening listening to my cousin, Lauren, talk about her medical mission trip to Haiti.
As she clicked through the Macbook slide show...our worlds collided.  Eden,  my daughter, recognized her friend's dad in one of the pictures and recalled listening to her tell about his experience as a doctor helping in Haiti.  Brian recognized the very boxes he had packed at Bethel College in Kansas for the food distribution.

We are the human race.  We share a heartbeat.  We share compassion.  We share our lives.
Each slide had a person's story, a story that ended at the clinic or a story of a miracle.  Each member of the medical team had a story.  One doctor had just been told his cancer had returned right before boarding the plane. Doctors from the east coast, doctors from the west coast all meeting at the same time in an airport to offer their training to a hurting country.  All people, characters in a story that stretches from the middle of the land of the brave to the outermost parts of the world - our story as the human race.
Hearts beating to the very rhythm of the blood that flows through them.  The color of the skin, the language spoken, the journey didn't matter - stopping the pain is what mattered - saving a life.
The OR floor contained puddles of blood, the wounds were greater than could be imagined, the children having to be cradled through the pain of their injuries are visuals that will not soon be forgotten.
May God bless our human hearts. 

Diamonds

Make new friends and keep the old ones, one is silver and the other gold...
Words from a song I used to sing to Eden when she was a toddler.
Wonder which ones are silver and which ones are gold?  The old ones gold maybe and the new ones silver cause the relationship is all shiny and usually reflects your own image.  Who knows?
The important thing is that we need both in our lives.  We need those people who knew us when to remind of us of where we've been and those who know us now to enjoy the present.  By the way, you can be both, the silver and the gold.  Those friends should be "diamonds" because they take a long time to make, but once they've been created it is hard to break them.
I am blessed to have a bunch of diamonds in my life.  Those diamonds keep me grounded and centered, but also bring great joy to my life.  I am also thankful for the diamonds allowing me into their lives sharing their adventures as they go through life.  Some diamonds have coffee with me and share their beautiful children to be a part of the moment and conversation, beautiful random hugs.  Other diamonds share their success and allow me to celebrate with them, party diamond - you know who you are.  And yet other diamonds share their medical training, prayers and compassion.  I have a lot of diamonds.  I could go on and on, but the lesson is not in sharing every single diamond.  The lesson is in recognizing that we are all surrounded by diamonds.  People we should care for and cherish, true treasures.  People are more important than things, connections with others is soul food.  Just as we don't forget to eat, don't forget to love on those relationships that are part of your world - part of your heart.

Hard Beginnings

"A hard beginning maketh a good ending"
Any of you who have started something knows the uphill battle of creating something worth hanging your hat on.
This past year has been my personal climb right alongside by best friend, Brian, having his own climb.  The two of us have developed curriculum for two different causes, shaken a lot of hands, written a lot of blogs, and dined with some of the finest Oklahoma and Kansas business leaders advocating our passions.
We both know it is very hard to bring a vision from a thought to a reality.  We also know that it is very hard to maintain a cheerful heart while doing it.  Sacrifice, lack of sleep, sometimes nausea are all part of the journey.  It is truly hard.
When do you know you've hit the "good ending?"
I believe when the hard has become a lifestyle and your eye is off the result and completely fixed on the love of the journey, the passion behind the journey - you fully alive.
Having a great idea is just that - a great idea.

Having a passion become a reality is where the good ending to a life well lived becomes a philosophical trophy for which there is no replacement.

Create a Fan Club

I've often wondered if Eden really pays attention to me.  I throw out suggestions, commands, hugs...all just randomly thrown out there for the taking,  but is it really taken?
Some days the muck and the mire of raising kids becomes a season of survival.  Does her dance bag have all the dance shoes in it?  Did I pay for her yearbook?  Is her uniform clean?  What time is practice? 
I drop her somewhere, usually with my hair in a ponytail, praying I did "my part" before she gets out of the car.
But sometimes, ray of sunshine comes beaming, the muck and the mire are so yesterday...because sometimes you have one of those moments that makes it all beautiful - they imitate something you love about yourself and adopt it all their own.  So magical - really.
I've always loved my transparency with my love for others.  I write it, text it, email it, practically tattoo it on my face...if I love you, you know it. 

And to know that I taught that to a seven year old - leaving a note of affection to her mommy....I've created my own fan club!